


Darth Bean

by natasharomanoffaesthetic



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Crack, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, Inappropriate use of a Lightsaber, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 02:26:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14843859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natasharomanoffaesthetic/pseuds/natasharomanoffaesthetic
Summary: A short drabble about coffee, sex, and a ship that nobody asked for.





	Darth Bean

**Author's Note:**

> There was no reason for me to write this. None whatsoever. And yet, here we are. One (1) person will read this. Enjoy. :)

It was just an after school job for Zannah. She didn’t really need the money, but it was better than being at home. Plus, the shop owner would teach her valuable life lessons, such as how to funnel her anger and rage into the Force to smite her enemies. And how to make a pretty darn good latte.

The Jedi were frequent customers of Darth Bean. It was right down the street from the academy, after all. Zannah would eavesdrop on the conversations of the students, trying to learn snippets of knowledge to use in her own practice. More times than not, she would mess up on an order because she was so busy day dreaming about destroying them all. The Jedi were weak and preached about the light side and ensuring peace in the galaxy.

But Zannah knew that peace was a lie, and that passion would ultimately set her free. Her boss, Darth Bane, made sure she understood that.

Everyday after the shop closed, Bane would teach her the ways of the Force. How to manipulate her enemies, how to gather strength from her anger, how to use a lightsaber, and most importantly, how to make coffee. She looked forward to her lessons everyday. Bane said that once she learned as much as she could, Zannah would be able to kill him and take over Darth Bean.

But Zannah thought Bane was completely untouchable. He was so good at making latte art that he put other coffee shops around the town out of business. She never thought she would be able to reach his level of mastery.

In fact, the only one to ever intimidate Bane was a master from the Jedi Academy. Zannah only knew his name because she had to write it on his regular venti espresso with two sugars. Valenthyne.

He only ever came in every once and a while, but each time was a spectacular show. The doors would fly open as if a hurricane hit the city. He would stride into the shop with he long blonde hair blowing in the wind. His kind purple and gold robes glinted off the lights to make it look as though he was glowing. Zannah thought he was too indulgent to be a Jedi, but she never got a chance to speak to him before Bane would jump over the counter, lightsaber already ignited.

“You aren’t welcome here, Farfalla!” He roared each and every time.

“You’re just scared that I’ll report you for a health and safety inspection,” yelled back Farfalla, igniting his lightsaber as well. “We all know you use the dark side to brainwash padawans into joining your dark brotherhood!”

“You fool! I killed the brotherhood, just like I’ll kill you!” Bane declares as he attacked the Jedi. The red of his saber would clash with Valenthyne’s gold one. Where Bane was offensive and heavy handed, his opponent was graceful and clean.

Zannah was pretty sure they had a feud going on before she was ever hired. She asked Bane about it once, but he told her he would fire her if he ever asked again. Given the passion of their fighting, Zannah assumed they had a closer relationship than they let on. After all, passion was the way of the Sith.

The two masters of the Force would fight in the coffee shop, knocking over tables and searing the walls, until Zannah was finished making the extra large espresso. She shuddered to think of a single man drinking twelve straight shots of espresso with two sugars, but if anyone could do it, Valenthyne Farfalla could.

She placed the cup on the counter, and Valenthyne would fight his way over, grab the cup, and make his escape. After they were done fighting for the day, Bane always told Zannah to clean the shop and leave. He would hook his curved lightsaber back on his belt and storm into his back office. They never had their lessons on the days Valenthyne came in.

“They’re defiantly fucking,” commented one of the costumers one day. Zannah pauses her cleaning.

“What makes you say that?” She asked.

“The way they fight. It’s obvious,” the young Jedi replied. “They practically grope each other. Besides, Master Farfalla has had an unhealthy obsession with Bane since the war.”

“Really? Bane never mentions him,” she said, recalling everything he mentioned about the war. “For being a Sith, he’s pretty emotionless.”

“For being a Jedi, Farfalla’s pretty emotional,” chuckled the student, leaving the shop with everyone else. Everyone knew the shop was closed after a fight.

——

Bane wiped the front counter clean a couple hours after Zannah left. It was just after dark; the streets were quiet on the weekday night.

“You know,” he said when he heard the door open, “we don’t have to fight. Nobody suspects anything.”

“That’s very un-Sith of you,” replied Valenthyne, casually walking behind the counter. He reached bane and wrapped his arms around him from the back. “Besides, it adds some excitement.”

“Does a Master Jedi secretly seeing a Sith Lord really need anymore excitement?” Asked Bane, even though he knew Valenthyne just loved the theatrics.

“Maybe I just like to see what you can do with that lightsaber,” murmured Valenthyne, kissing Bane’s bald head. Shivers ran down his spine. He turned around in Valenthyne’s arms and kissed him.

“I could think of another use for my lightsaber,” Bane said with a smirk, pushing Valenthyne on to the counter and starting his work.

He pressed his body flesh against Valenthyne’s, reaching around the message his already growing bulge. He knelt down and pulled down Valenthyne’s pants.

“I don’t suppose you’ve had dessert yet?” Said Valenthyne in a shaky, breathy voice. He handed Bane the whip cream. Bane laughed out loud in his deep voice that Valenthyne could feel in his chest. Bane sprayed the whip cream on Valenthyne’s bare ass.

Bane tantalizingly licked off the cream, taking his time the closer he got to his destination. Valenthyne moans cascaded across the empty shop. Bane made sure that Valenthyne watched him lick the creamy white substance off his lips. If anyone where to walk in at that moment, they would be ruined. Luckily, they could sense that sort of thing with the Force.

Another loud whimper echoed off the walls when Bane entered a finger into the Jedi’s ass. He kept at it for longer than he needed to, enjoying the sounds the Valenthyne made.

Just as he was about to cum from only his finger administrations, Bane stopped abruptly. Valenthyne whined at the absence of his fingers.

“Let’s see just how well you hold up to the power of the Sith,” Bane told his partner. He unhooked his lightsaber from his belt and ignited it. Valenthyne glances back bright red glow, eyes hungry in anticipation. Bane chuckled and turned it off, reaching into the cabinet behind him and covered the weapon in coconut oil. Having an affair in a coffee shop did have its advantages.

The saber was a unique model. It was curved at the end, which made it easier to make swinging, offensive moves in battle. It allowed Bane to use his large size and abnormal strength to his advantage. But now, it would be used for Valenthyne’s pleasure.

Bane trust it into Valenthyne in one quick motion, earning a near scream from him. For a split second, he drew power from Valenthyne’s pain, but it was quickly replaced with pleasure. Bane started to pushed the saber back and forwards. Valenthyne’s hips moved in response. Bane was so enthralled in Valenthyne’s body that he caught the urge to reach down and touch himself. He knew that Valenthyne would reward him for his patience later.

Bane moved the saber this way and that until Valenthyne was near the edge. His knuckles turned white from gripping the counter so hard and his pink face was whispering Bane’s name like it was a prayer.

Knowing that he was close, Bane reached around to start messaging Valenthyne’s dick. The simple flick of his wrist drove Valenthyne over the edge. With a few more thrusts of the saber, he came undone in Banes hand. Bane kept his pace until Valenthyne rode out his orgasm.

Slowly, he stopped just thrusting and pulled out the lightsaber. Valenthyne sighed and slumped on the counter, letting out a laugh of relief.

“I always have been better at handling a lightsaber than you,” smirked Bane.

“True,” said Valenthyne, sliding down to meet Bane on the coffee shop floor. He had a glint in his eyes that told Bane he was in the mood for some mischief. “But I’ve always been better with my mouth.”

——

Zannah came to the shop before school the next day. She was surprised to find Bane already there, whipping the counters clean. She wondered if the man ever slept.

He raised an eyebrow at her presence. He could sense her presence from a mile away, but he just didn’t know her motives for being at the shop so early in the morning.

“What are you doing here before school?” He asked, his voice rougher than usual.

“I forgot my backpack,” she replied nonchalantly, walking to the place she left it behind the counter.

But before she could reach the counter, Bane used the force to levitate the bag to her. “Go on, you’ll be late.”

“Thanks. See you later,” she waved, and turned around to leave. But then a thought struck her and she turned back to eye her Master suspiciously. “What are you doing here so early?”

“It’s my shop, I can be here whenever I want,” he replied with a dull voice that sounded almost bored. She recognized that as the tone he used when he was trying to hide something from her.

But then her eye caught the familiar purple fabric on the floor at the corner of the counter. A pale hand quickly pulled it back.

“Fair enough,” Zannah said, rolling her eyes, and left the coffee shop.


End file.
